Last night my leg hair turned into a plant. It was a lot like broccoli. Maybe a little like cauliflowers. Some long stems in there too.
It was growing all over my legs like a disease. 
Like mould.
As I peeled off my trousers to unveil it, and ask for help, I felt sick. 
The texture was all wrong. 
We stared at them for a while. Lifting the heads of the plants with nervous hands, feeling my skin at the roots tug and pull. 
An invasion, right down to the bone.
We didn't know what to do
so I hacked it all off with a big pair of scissors.